Well, darn.

With only a few hours of September remaining, I think it is safe to say that September was not our month. :( I am one of many, many disappointed waiting parents with a LID in late March '06. We had every reason to believe that referrals would roll right out this month, like they have for so many months previously. However, the CCAA had different plans in mind, and they are now closed for a week. I am making no prediction at all as to when (or if!) they might choose to send out the next set of referrals, but if I had to guess, it could be the week of October 12th. Who knows?

I know people are praying for us, and I do take comfort in that fact. We will continue to marvel at God's timing, pray for our little one in China, and try to be hopeful about receiving a referral in October. Back to the waiting game.....

The Rollercoaster Ride

RQ has posted twice already this morning. The first post says she is just hearing more of the same, which is that referrals are delayed, due to CCAA officials being out of the office for the holiday, or concerns over H1N1, or who knows why. But - she also just posted that she has heard from an agency that they have a package on the way from the CCAA, expected to arrive Wednesday. They do not know if it is referrals or not. That is very encouraging news, but as you know, nothing is definite.

This leg of our journey - especially the last week - has been a wild rollercoaster ride of emotions. I am trying to stay calm, cool, and collected, but that is just hard! Given the info about the holiday in China, I have kind of given myself the next 3 weeks as a possible window for referrals arrivals, so I am fine with any date within that window. But if they arrived this week, that would be great! :)

On a very positive, complete unrelated note - 13 people from our church, including 2 very dear friends, have just returned from a week and a half in Malawi, Africa. They arrived home safely yesterday, and we are so thankful for that! We can't wait to hear about their journey and what God has stirred in their hearts.

No expectations

The latest RQ report is that the CCAA will likely wait until after returning from their holiday to mail referrals. I believe they return on October 8th or 9th, so who knows if the referrals will go in the mail immediately after that, or maybe even be held until sometime the week of October 12th. To my knowledge, they have never, ever waited until after a break to send referrals out, but hey - that's the way things go sometimes. After having our hopes dashed this week, we are holding no expectations of receiving anything before the middle of October. If we do receive a call, email, and package with that sweet face before then, awesome! If we don't, we will not be surprised.

On the side of progress, we got invitations from the USCIS to go to Indy and get our fingerprints done again. With this recent delay on the referrals, we are VERY happy that we went ahead and took care of this detail!

A new day, a new attitude

After yesterday's little pity party, it is time to move on today and continue waiting with hopeful anticipation. We still don't know anything more about an arrival date for our referral, but I do know we are one day closer, and life is definitely 'one day at a time' for us these days. I have also reminded myself today that this whole process is not about us and our wants or needs or timeframe. It is about a child on the other side of the world becoming part of our family.

Two verses from Hebrews spoke to me today: 10:23, which says, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful," and 11:1, which is a favorite of mine: "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I am sure of what we hope for and I know that now is the time for me to hold on to the hope that I have felt all along. God is good, and has it all under control. My life would be much easier if I could acknowledge that on a daily basis.

A familiar feeling - 14 years later

Fourteen years ago today was my due date with Erica. That day came and went with no new little baby, and that was a drag. That's kind of how I'm feeling today. I remember anticipating Sept. 23, 1995 with such great expectation - of course we would have a baby that day, because that was my due date! :) Well, after having a little emotional meltdown on Sept. 24, 1995, labor started, and she arrived the next day. I have been anticipating for the last few weeks that this week would absolutely be our time to see our new baby's face, and that doesn't seem to be the case. Mark has been very upbeat and not allowing me to wallow today, but this may be the hardest part of our wait yet! I prayed for more patience today. :)

Yuck.

There is a small bit of info out this morning saying that the CCAA might not mail referrals until AFTER they return from their national holiday, which ends OCTOBER 8th! RQ is not putting much stock in this info yet, so that gives us a tiny bit of hope that that will not be the case. But - there is not any good information out to the contrary, either, so we will sit and continue to wait. Well, not sit, but continue to grocery shop, pick up the house, drive children around, go to meetings, and all the other normal things we've been doing for 4 years. :)

Nothing yet - Tuesday edition

Still nothing. Someone even reported that his or her agency said that the CCAA is still matching. With no reports yet of referrals being mailed, I now see Friday as the earliest possible day for us to get the call. :( Maybe they really are waiting until right before their Oct. 1 holiday to mail things out. Oh, well - as Mark said yesterday, "We've waited this long - we can wait a few more days!" I'll keep telling myself that!

Nothing yet

The word this morning is that nothing has been put in the mail in China yet, most likely, so that means referrals probably won't start arriving until late in the week. That's ok - we have a ton going on this week, so I can just keep plowing through my to-do lists, and be ready by Thursday or Friday. :)

Progress...

No progress on referral information, but I am getting little things done around here. I sent our fingerprint renewal request - again - to Chicago on Monday. Hopefully we will hear back from them soon and can zip over to Indy and get that all in order before we leave.

I also emailed all of Erica's teachers today for the first time, telling them of our plans to have her out of school for 2 weeks. I hope the response from them is good - kind of hard to come in to a new school situation and drop this information on strangers. I know Ian's Judah teachers are excited for us, and hopefully Erica's will be, too!

I have also printed off a few packing lists that I have seen from other sources. I figured there was no need to reinvent the wheel, so I will just start with what others have used, and personalize it for us. One list is 3 1/2 pages of spreadsheet - LOTS of information! I'll have to actually start digesting this information soon!

RQ has nothing today - probably won't hear much now until next week. I am trying not to stalk that website, but it is hard!

Matching!

The report for today is that people at the CCAA in China are preparing to match baby files with family files. This is it! This is the part of the process that will re-create our family. Nobody really knows what the CCAA employees look for or use as their criteria in their matching (some people say facial structure, some people say interests, but we don't know!), but we do know that God has it all under control. After trusting in this process for this long, we know that God has had this part of our story planned all along, so we will continue to trust in His perfect plan. I am so very excited to think that sometime next week we will get to become parents again!

It really does take my breath away to know that our child is living on the other side of the world, and that his or her world is about to be turned upside down. It takes my breath away in good and sad ways. Our world is about to be turned upside down, too, but we've had the luxury(?) of waiting and adjusting to that idea for 4 years. Our little one is not waiting for us. Our new child is living the only way he or she has ever known, and although it is probably not with a family (unless in foster care), it is what is comfortable for him or her right now. We know that a family for every orphan is what is best, but that will probably be a scary transition for our sweet baby.

On that note, we are overjoyed at the idea of welcoming little Audrey or Isaac as an Allender. That process could be starting this very moment in China! :)

Followers

A special hello tonight to my 4 Followers, whose little pictures are over there on the right, under our Hawaii picture. Barb, I have to say, you look much cuter in person! :)

If you want to become a follower, too, that just means that you will get an email update every time we (I say 'we' in case Mark ever decides to post someday. Who knows? That could happen.) post a new entry on the blog. If you want the latest, up-to-the-minute news to hit your email inbox, then you might want to become a follower. Or, if you like the suspense of seeing if there is a new entry or not when you type in the address on your browser, than maybe becoming a follower is not for you.

So, click the white 'Follow' button if you want to, and go from there.


This has been a blogging public service announcement, brought to you by Procrastinators Anonymous.

Yet another test

This little test will be to post via email, with a picture. We want to be able to send pictures from China, right?

Here is a new picture of the big brother and big sister. Here we go....

Yes! That is good. So if we can get an internet connection wherever we happen to be in China, we'll be able to post text and pictures. Now all we need is that referral.... :)

First September Rumor!

And it's a good GREAT one! :) RQ is reporting that someone from some other agency, with a LID of 3/27/06, has been told by their agency that they are IN for the next set of referrals. Because China does everyone with the same LID at one time, that pretty much guarantees that we are in, too! :) Wow - I can't believe this is actually happening!

The big question before us now is - when? I still think sometime next week -like Sept. 21st-25th. Stay tuned - this is getting kind of exciting, folks! :)

The Crib Report

We ventured up in the very hot attic today, to check on the status of our crib. Both of our kids used it, and it has been borrowed by at least a couple of friends. We have had it up there since moving into this house, almost 7 years ago. It has been covered well, and I am happy to report it is in great shape. We have 2 crib mattresses up there, too, and with a new waterproof cover, I think one of those will be great, too. Why do we have 2 crib mattresses, you ask? Because we had kids in a crib and toddler bed at the same time. That seems like a million years ago!

Now we come to the sad part of the story. In true Allender form, the crib hardware, which both Mark and I swore was going to be right with the crib, is nowhere to be seen. Drat. We have taken a cursory glance over all of the initial possibilities: Mark's workbench, tool shelf in the basement, junk drawer(s) in the kitchen, and dresser in the baby's room. No dice. Wish us luck in finding this ziploc bag! :)

Also, in case you were wondering, we have heard nothing at all on when referrals might be winging their way to our house. A little tiny rumor this week would be nice!

Another dream...

...and this one was kind of normal! I dreamt last night that we received our referral, and it was for a 19-month old little girl. She was so cute and had a little sprouty ponytail on the top of her head! I don't remember many details besides that, except that it was all very, very exciting!

I can't believe that we are closing in on the real deal. Our days are busy, but they are crawling by a little bit for me. No rumors whatsoever on RQ, so who knows when referrals might actually arrive. We are nowhere close to being prepared with having actual baby things ready around the house, but I feel emotionally prepared - and so excited! That counts, right?

Another test

We have read that Blogger (as well as facebook, etc.) is blocked in parts of China, with their government being funny about things like that, so I am trying to post to the blog via email. We don’t think we’ll be able to see our posts and comments, but you should be able to. I think we will be able to see emails. Here we go....

Oh, good - it worked! :) We thought that being able to post while we're actually in China would be a good thing!

September!

Here we are - September 1, 2009! The big question: will this really, truly be the month that this unbelievably slow (and inspiring, and educational, and amazing) process takes a huge leap forward and we get to learn our new baby's name and see his or her picture? I vote yes! :) Since China doesn't go by any schedule but its own, we could be receiving our referral anywhere from 3-5 weeks from now. I know - 5 weeks would be October, but I have to be realistic and continue to guard my heart a little! :)

Anyone want to venture a guess on the exact date that we get the call? I am going to say September 25th - Erica's birthday. :) And now I'm going to say something I've never said before - that's only 24 DAYS away! We can count in DAYS now! :)