Monday, October 20, 2008
Pretty quiet...
There haven't been many rumors circulating yet about the next batch of referrals from China. I have seen rumors for everything from 2 LID's to 15 LID's. I certainly hope it is not 2! 15 would be unbelievable - it will probably be somewhere in between. If you really want to be in the know about adoption from China, and have lots of spare reading time, check out Rumor Queen's website. This is where prospective adoptive parents (for China) from all over the world go to check out the latest. It is a very interesting clearinghouse for information. Maybe the next couple of weeks will bring great referral rumors and news!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Dreams
In our family, I am known as the person who has really weird dreams at night and can remember many of them in great detail. With a process as monumental as international adoption, I knew there were bound to be some wild dreams to go along with it all. I have certainly not disappointed myself! :)
I have dreamt about actually traveling in China (landed in western China and had to drive ourselves to the southeast region), I have dreamt about the moment we meet Audrey (we were camping in China, she was two years old, and had red hair), I have dreamt twice about getting our referral (we were referred a boy - both dreams!). The troubling part about all of this is that none of the dreams have been all that reassuring - they have been downright stressful. I know our minds dream to help us work through the stress in our lives, but I didn't think they were supposed to create more stress!
In my daydreams, I have envisioned lots about our trip, our moment of welcoming Audrey into our family, and what life will be like when we bring her home. I can't wait for all of that! As we move closer to our referral, I can only imagine what is in store for me in my dreams at night. :)
I have dreamt about actually traveling in China (landed in western China and had to drive ourselves to the southeast region), I have dreamt about the moment we meet Audrey (we were camping in China, she was two years old, and had red hair), I have dreamt twice about getting our referral (we were referred a boy - both dreams!). The troubling part about all of this is that none of the dreams have been all that reassuring - they have been downright stressful. I know our minds dream to help us work through the stress in our lives, but I didn't think they were supposed to create more stress!
In my daydreams, I have envisioned lots about our trip, our moment of welcoming Audrey into our family, and what life will be like when we bring her home. I can't wait for all of that! As we move closer to our referral, I can only imagine what is in store for me in my dreams at night. :)
Friday, October 3, 2008
A Little History....(Part 2)
Back to our story...
It's January 2005. I called Mark at work, and he assured me he was not having the same great revelations about adopting a baby girl from China that I was. He also asked if we could please talk about this at home. I said sure, and really thought of nothing else the rest of the afternoon. When we did get a chance to discuss it that evening, it was a pretty short conversation:
Beth: So - this is what happened at Bible study today - (told this whole story again)
Mark: Ummmm - no.
Beth: But here are all my reasons (deep and not so deep) why you should say yes: 1.I really feel like God is calling us to do this. 2.We have an extra bedroom that only gets used a few times a year. 3.We still have lots of great baby stuff, for some unknown reason, because we never planned on more than 2 kids! 4. What a great way to share our faith with the kids, family, and friends! 5.We do a pretty ok job of parenting - what about opening our family to a child who might never have a family? 6. A good friend's comforting words from a few months before that God has great things planned for us.
Mark: Ummmm - no.
Mark obviously didn't get the same message I did. So now what? I just kept praying, and would check back in with Mark every few weeks.
Beth: So - about the adoption stuff? What do you think now?
Mark: Ummmm - no. Don't think so.
I felt a real sense of peace about it all, knowing that God's timing was right. I would just wait for either both of us to say yes, or for me to understand that this was not right, and we would both eventually say no. I didn't pester him, but would just bring it up for discussion every now and then. This was miraculous in itself - my being relatively patient - so I knew God was right there with me. I just kept praying, and after about 5 months, I sensed a tiny little change of heart beginning for Mark. He wasn't saying no so quickly, and he was asking a few more questions. We would talk about adoption a little more frequently, and around this time I was asked if I was interested in teaching full time. I told Mark that I didn't feel like I could commit to full time teaching if we were even considering bringing a new baby into our family. We talked about the possibility that maybe God was throwing the teaching opportunity in there to close the discussion on adoption - that teaching was the real opportunity here. We had a weekend to decide about the teaching job, and I felt so strongly in my heart that the adoption was still part of God's plan for us, and that this decision was put before us to help strengthen that idea in Mark's heart, too. He agreed that he was starting to feel led in this direction, too, and that I should not pursue the teaching job.
So - what to do now? Mark made it very clear to me that he was not fully ready to sign on, that he still had questions, but that he was at least thinking about it all. I, of course, asked what I could do to help speed that process, and he said, "Nothing." Nothing?? C'mon! Let's get this ball rolling, let's call an agency, let's research, let's start paperwork! Nope. He wanted to talk through things a bit longer, and he just didn't feel sure about the whole process and loving a new baby without even knowing who she is. During this time, I ran into a family from church who, I had heard through the grapevine, was in the process of adopting from China. We knew who they were, but were not close friends at the time. Pam, do you remember talking at that church softball game? That conversation changed our life! Pam told me that they were waiting for their referral from China, and were pretty close - maybe less than a month at that time. She also said Jeff would be happy to talk to Mark any time, to maybe help answer any questions that he had. I wanted Mark to call Jeff the minute we got home that night, but he wanted to wait and think some more. I waited patiently, and he did eventually call. Jeff answered all of Mark's questions, shared some of his own doubts and answers, talked about how excited they were to be going to China fairly soon, and really encouraged Mark that adopting would be a great thing. Yea, Jeff!! These were two life-changing conversations with people who, I feel, God placed in our lives at just the right time. It is weird to think back to that time and how little we knew each other, but what an impact Pam and Jeff had on our lives right then.
Mark and I talked some more, prayed some more, and within the next few days decided that YES, we wanted to add to our family and adopt a little girl from China. It is July 2005 by now. We told the kids, shared how we felt called to do this, and they were pretty excited. We talked about how the process would work, what the time frame might be, and that we'd probably probably be going to China and home in the next fall, in a little over a year. If only I had a nickel now for every time I have said, "Oh, we think we'll be going in about a year!" Anyway, we told family and friends - who were very excited for us - over the coming weeks, contacted our agency, waited for the director to get back from overseas, and got going on our paperwork in September 2005.
We did paperwork for the next 5 months, met with our social worker, got fingerprinted at 3 different places for 3 different government agencies, filled out lots of forms, got passports, and waited. We waited for our final piece of paperwork, the all-important I-171H form, and received it in early March 2006. I raced around like a madwoman after it arrived, getting everything copied, checked, and double checked, before sending our dossier off to a courier who took it to the Secretary of State and Chinese Consulate in Chicago for its final certification and authentication. The dossier then went to our agency's coordinator, who had the final stamp of approval, and it was sent on its way to China on March 13. We received word that China logged in our paperwork on March 27, 2006, and that has been our identifying date ever since.
In the months (and years!) since that time, we have had brief moments of, "What were we thinking??" and "What in the world are we doing??" but we are just thrilled to be on this journey, waiting for Audrey to join our family. We feel privileged to be Erica and Ian's parents, and feel the same way about our new daughter that we haven't even met!
Next time, I'll tell you all about THE WAIT, and how our blissful visions of traveling in the fall of 2006 have turned into hopefully traveling sometime in 2009.
It's January 2005. I called Mark at work, and he assured me he was not having the same great revelations about adopting a baby girl from China that I was. He also asked if we could please talk about this at home. I said sure, and really thought of nothing else the rest of the afternoon. When we did get a chance to discuss it that evening, it was a pretty short conversation:
Beth: So - this is what happened at Bible study today - (told this whole story again)
Mark: Ummmm - no.
Beth: But here are all my reasons (deep and not so deep) why you should say yes: 1.I really feel like God is calling us to do this. 2.We have an extra bedroom that only gets used a few times a year. 3.We still have lots of great baby stuff, for some unknown reason, because we never planned on more than 2 kids! 4. What a great way to share our faith with the kids, family, and friends! 5.We do a pretty ok job of parenting - what about opening our family to a child who might never have a family? 6. A good friend's comforting words from a few months before that God has great things planned for us.
Mark: Ummmm - no.
Mark obviously didn't get the same message I did. So now what? I just kept praying, and would check back in with Mark every few weeks.
Beth: So - about the adoption stuff? What do you think now?
Mark: Ummmm - no. Don't think so.
I felt a real sense of peace about it all, knowing that God's timing was right. I would just wait for either both of us to say yes, or for me to understand that this was not right, and we would both eventually say no. I didn't pester him, but would just bring it up for discussion every now and then. This was miraculous in itself - my being relatively patient - so I knew God was right there with me. I just kept praying, and after about 5 months, I sensed a tiny little change of heart beginning for Mark. He wasn't saying no so quickly, and he was asking a few more questions. We would talk about adoption a little more frequently, and around this time I was asked if I was interested in teaching full time. I told Mark that I didn't feel like I could commit to full time teaching if we were even considering bringing a new baby into our family. We talked about the possibility that maybe God was throwing the teaching opportunity in there to close the discussion on adoption - that teaching was the real opportunity here. We had a weekend to decide about the teaching job, and I felt so strongly in my heart that the adoption was still part of God's plan for us, and that this decision was put before us to help strengthen that idea in Mark's heart, too. He agreed that he was starting to feel led in this direction, too, and that I should not pursue the teaching job.
So - what to do now? Mark made it very clear to me that he was not fully ready to sign on, that he still had questions, but that he was at least thinking about it all. I, of course, asked what I could do to help speed that process, and he said, "Nothing." Nothing?? C'mon! Let's get this ball rolling, let's call an agency, let's research, let's start paperwork! Nope. He wanted to talk through things a bit longer, and he just didn't feel sure about the whole process and loving a new baby without even knowing who she is. During this time, I ran into a family from church who, I had heard through the grapevine, was in the process of adopting from China. We knew who they were, but were not close friends at the time. Pam, do you remember talking at that church softball game? That conversation changed our life! Pam told me that they were waiting for their referral from China, and were pretty close - maybe less than a month at that time. She also said Jeff would be happy to talk to Mark any time, to maybe help answer any questions that he had. I wanted Mark to call Jeff the minute we got home that night, but he wanted to wait and think some more. I waited patiently, and he did eventually call. Jeff answered all of Mark's questions, shared some of his own doubts and answers, talked about how excited they were to be going to China fairly soon, and really encouraged Mark that adopting would be a great thing. Yea, Jeff!! These were two life-changing conversations with people who, I feel, God placed in our lives at just the right time. It is weird to think back to that time and how little we knew each other, but what an impact Pam and Jeff had on our lives right then.
Mark and I talked some more, prayed some more, and within the next few days decided that YES, we wanted to add to our family and adopt a little girl from China. It is July 2005 by now. We told the kids, shared how we felt called to do this, and they were pretty excited. We talked about how the process would work, what the time frame might be, and that we'd probably probably be going to China and home in the next fall, in a little over a year. If only I had a nickel now for every time I have said, "Oh, we think we'll be going in about a year!" Anyway, we told family and friends - who were very excited for us - over the coming weeks, contacted our agency, waited for the director to get back from overseas, and got going on our paperwork in September 2005.
We did paperwork for the next 5 months, met with our social worker, got fingerprinted at 3 different places for 3 different government agencies, filled out lots of forms, got passports, and waited. We waited for our final piece of paperwork, the all-important I-171H form, and received it in early March 2006. I raced around like a madwoman after it arrived, getting everything copied, checked, and double checked, before sending our dossier off to a courier who took it to the Secretary of State and Chinese Consulate in Chicago for its final certification and authentication. The dossier then went to our agency's coordinator, who had the final stamp of approval, and it was sent on its way to China on March 13. We received word that China logged in our paperwork on March 27, 2006, and that has been our identifying date ever since.
In the months (and years!) since that time, we have had brief moments of, "What were we thinking??" and "What in the world are we doing??" but we are just thrilled to be on this journey, waiting for Audrey to join our family. We feel privileged to be Erica and Ian's parents, and feel the same way about our new daughter that we haven't even met!
Next time, I'll tell you all about THE WAIT, and how our blissful visions of traveling in the fall of 2006 have turned into hopefully traveling sometime in 2009.
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